TOUGH ALL THE TIME?

Submitted by
JUNIOR JOE
juniorjoe05@yahoo.com

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "To the kitchen." She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replies, "Sure."She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He says, "No, I can remember that." She then says, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that." He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replies, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down." With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."

JOE'S POINT
Don't act tough. If you think you will forget, better write it down.

LIKE FATHER LIKE SON

Submitted by
FERDINAND CHE
ferdinand_che@yahoo.com

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was yellow and green and orange and purple. He had black makeup around his eyes. The old man just stared at him. The boy said, "What's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?" The old man answered, "Well yes, actually, I have. I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.

FERDINAND'S POINT
Present yourself wrongly to the public and the wrong people in the society will own you.

CAN'T YOU JUST DECIDE?

Submitted by
SIRRI KAREEN
sirik4@yahoo.co.uk

A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied. Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie." Confused, the man went to his Rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma. "Let me tell you a story," replied the Rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. She replied suggesting that her daughter wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to her neck. But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Wear your sexiest negligee, with a Vee neck right down to your navel." The man protested: "Rabbi, what does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?" "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed.

KAREEN'S POINT
Make the decissions yourself. Not everybody around you is better than you.